Now that's a superwoman! |
"Moooooommmmmyyyyyyy, the toilet won't flush again!" With a sigh of frustration, I made my way up the stairs and prepared for another plunging session. First try, nothing. Second try, nada. On the third try, the toilet finally cooperated. I couldn't celebrate the victory, though. The tears were already welling up in my eyes and I began to once again murmur the lies I was beginning to believe..."I'm not made for this. Men are supposed to unclog toilets. I didn't sign up for this. I don't want to be superwoman anymore."
I practically stomped back down the stairs and my blood began to boil thinking back to the reasons why I was in this situation. "He needs to know what he's done...that'll teach him!" I thought foolishly. I called my ex-husband at his job and began to unleash my anger on him. I must've missed the memo on the whole "not keeping a record of wrongs" thing, because I had his listed in chronological order and reminded him of every.single.one. The funny thing is that was when I was done, I felt worse. Now I was an angry, bitter, psycho non-superwoman with a punk toilet.
Situations like this have played out in my house countless times in the past two years. This day in particular though, I was overwhelmingly overwhelmed. Many single moms identify with that feeling. I hate to admit it, but at times I do wish there was someone with me, someone to take care of those things, to take care of us. And then there's that realization...wait, there IS someone.
- Isaiah 43:2 - When you pass through the waters, I will be with you...
- Matthew 28:20 - And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age...
- Joshua 1:5 - As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you...
I can't always count on my household running smoothly (as if!) or a man being there to save the day. I can, however, walk this unknown path laid out before me with full confidence in knowing that God walks with me every step of the way.
Update: July 29
Heard this on the radio last night and it reminded me so much of this post :) Enjoy!
Sarah, I didn't realize how much we have in common. I knew you were single.. but you really get it. I have shed those same tears over the same things. It is so hard. It is not enough to speak the words or talk about the life.. I don't think its really understood. Being a single mother encompasses you. It defines you. It is your every waking breathe. I know that someday it will get easier. Right now, though.. I hear you.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I have this same battle atleast once a week. I feel like I haven't signed up for this and sometimes feel VERY alone, but then I look down at those 2 smiling faces and think that I am anything but alone. For the rest of my life I have to be a superwoman to 2 little angels. They need me to be their EVERYTHING. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in the world with the battles I have.
ReplyDelete~Elizabeth Sullivan