Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I am woman, hear me roar (or cry...whatever)

Now that's a superwoman!
Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG) - ...I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

"Moooooommmmmyyyyyyy, the toilet won't flush again!"  With a sigh of frustration, I made my way up the stairs and prepared for another plunging session.  First try, nothing.  Second try, nada. On the third try, the toilet finally cooperated.  I couldn't celebrate the victory, though. The tears were already welling up in my eyes and I began to once again murmur the lies I was beginning to believe..."I'm not made for this.  Men are supposed to unclog toilets.  I didn't sign up for this.  I don't want to be superwoman anymore."

I practically stomped back down the stairs and my blood began to boil thinking back to the reasons why I was in this situation.  "He needs to know what he's done...that'll teach him!" I thought foolishly.  I called my ex-husband at his job and began to unleash my anger on him.  I must've missed the memo on the whole "not keeping a record of wrongs" thing, because I had his listed in chronological order and reminded him of every.single.one.  The funny thing is that was when I was done, I felt worse. Now I was an angry, bitter, psycho non-superwoman with a punk toilet.

Situations like this have played out in my house countless times in the past two years.  This day in particular though, I was overwhelmingly overwhelmed.  Many single moms identify with that feeling.  I hate to admit it, but at times I do wish there was someone with me, someone to take care of those things, to take care of us.  And then there's that realization...wait, there IS someone. 
  • Isaiah 43:2 - When you pass through the waters, I will be with you...
  • Matthew 28:20 - And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age...
  • Joshua 1:5 - As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you...
His promise is that whoever you are, whatever you face, He is with you.   You may be walking through a very dark place in your marriage, He is with you.  You may be walking through the grief of infidelity or the horrors of separation or divorce.  He is with you.  You may be at the end of the rope with your children, overwhelmed and feeling like a failure.  Yet still, He is with you.

I can't always count on my household running smoothly (as if!) or a man being there to save the day.  I can, however, walk this unknown path laid out before me with full confidence in knowing that God walks with me every step of the way.

Update: July 29
Heard this on the radio last night and it reminded me so much of this post :) Enjoy!

2 comments:

  1. Sarah, I didn't realize how much we have in common. I knew you were single.. but you really get it. I have shed those same tears over the same things. It is so hard. It is not enough to speak the words or talk about the life.. I don't think its really understood. Being a single mother encompasses you. It defines you. It is your every waking breathe. I know that someday it will get easier. Right now, though.. I hear you.

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  2. Sarah, I have this same battle atleast once a week. I feel like I haven't signed up for this and sometimes feel VERY alone, but then I look down at those 2 smiling faces and think that I am anything but alone. For the rest of my life I have to be a superwoman to 2 little angels. They need me to be their EVERYTHING. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in the world with the battles I have.
    ~Elizabeth Sullivan

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